bitter after taste
12:50 PM
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Sunday, September 18, 2005
it saddens me to know that you
lost your sight to happiness
Not seeing that i was held at gunpoint
to make a fallacy to confess
my hands tied back
facing my worst fears
yet i smiled at you
while i wipe my tears
you must be blind
or are you blinded by shame?
why can't you seem to admit
it's you whom I should blame
but no, i wouldn't scold or chide you
no i wont call you names
i won't stoop to that level
just to cause you pain
why you failed to notice
that i held my blistered heart bare?
cos you're blindfolded by bliss
perhaps you never did care
i pused aside your rush
I ignored your haste
So you took the sweetness
out of my misery and left
me with the bitter after taste.
lost your sight to happiness
Not seeing that i was held at gunpoint
to make a fallacy to confess
my hands tied back
facing my worst fears
yet i smiled at you
while i wipe my tears
you must be blind
or are you blinded by shame?
why can't you seem to admit
it's you whom I should blame
but no, i wouldn't scold or chide you
no i wont call you names
i won't stoop to that level
just to cause you pain
why you failed to notice
that i held my blistered heart bare?
cos you're blindfolded by bliss
perhaps you never did care
i pused aside your rush
I ignored your haste
So you took the sweetness
out of my misery and left
me with the bitter after taste.
is there something missing?
7:49 PM
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Sunday, September 11, 2005
I just got back on Tuesday from my 4 day trip to Cameron Highlands and KL with the whole family (the whole BUS!) and that means i'm suppossed to be on a good mood really. Go to work on Wednesday. Then Thurday I'm on leave again. Sending my brother off to Tekong for his BMT. And Friday I had to face work again.
This week by far has got to be the shortest week EVER.
But it was otherwise. I was a wreck on Friday. I kept going to the loo every few hours to cry. I was in no way metally, emotionally or physically stable to be working on that day. But, I pulled through anyway. Somehow.
I was tired from the trip and haven't got sufficient rest. I was coming down with flu bug or something. Work, has really taken a toll on me now. And I guess, I miss my brother. Yep, I actually miss that pain in the ass!
I never thought I'd feel this way. I've always had a great relationship with both my brothers. I've always felt protective of them. especially the youngest one. But the one who has just gone for his NS, we're only 2 years apart and even though he's younger than me, sometimes he acts like my older brother! Being so close in age, sometimes he's like my twin. I never had a sister so I wouldn't know how it feels like to talk abt guys and clothes and stuff with a sibling. But my brother and I do share a lot of stuff together. We talk about things we don't talk to our parents about. And we do understand each other. We talk about relationships we have, the hard times we're going through.
And yeah, I seldom see him when he's at home either cos he's always out or some Silat competition or with his friends or school. But he's there for late night talks when I can't sleep, since we're the only two ppl in this house who sleep past midnight. So in a way, I lost my confidante. It is really hard for me. Ever since I stop working in my old firm, I have been looking foward to spending time at home with my brothers cos that's when I can trully be happy. Now, it seems like things just gets harder.
