why are we looking for the rainbow when it hasn't even rained?

come to papa!

12:58 AM
Friday, January 28, 2005

Met up with Hydar after work.
Yeah, we kinda miss having the kid around in the office. Our main source of entertainment...
It's been 2 weeks since he left the company and somehow things never change.
Yeah well, I promised to give him a treat for his last day but hey, he unexpectedly left earlier, so too bad..had to wait till pay day. We thought of going to Satay Club, the one near Fullerton. Went there and found out it's closed. Have no idea whether under renovation or shop closed for good. Hydar, sway ah kau...hahaha!
Ate at Sakura and hung out at starbucks. Had no idea what we were talking about. Took pics and vids and what nots! I never laughed so hard in my life.

hooray for podah.com

1:04 AM
Thursday, January 27, 2005

I'm very pleased to inform that I'm linked up from podah.com! :P

To everyone who's not familiar or wondering what podah.com is, it's a site owned by Ridjal who previously owned Ridjal.org and ridj.blogspot.com.

Ridj is my friend's brother and is an amazing writer. His entries are always an enjoyment to read full of clever quips and satirical humour. Podah.com sets to focus on entries purely for entertainment purposes and not personal ones.

So, check it out guys! Click here.

the voice within

10:39 AM
Sunday, January 23, 2005

pardon me for being so melancholic. Suddenly, I'm thrown in an abyss of songs that somehow depict what I'm going through.

So, anyone who's like me, listen to these two songs and cry out your pain, alright?

First is a song, which I loved for a few weeks now. It's like a given sign to me. I really felt the soul of the song but never expected it to actually reflect my emotions. I can almost imagine myself saying these words to him. It's called Missing by Evanescence.

Secondly, it's a heart-wrenching Malay song. I almost never listen to Malay songs cos I wasn't into Malay rock. But I'm quite fond of Indon rock bands nowadays. Yet it was quite a miracle how I got to listen to it on RIA 89.7FM as I was hoping to hear lagu raya during Ramadhan. Maybe it was meant to be. Just listen to the piano piece on this one. And Duta's amazing vocals. It's called Berhenti Berharap (in English, 'Stop Hoping') by Sheila On 7.

Missing : evanescence

Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
Maybe someday you'll look up,
And, barely conscious,
you'll say to no one:
"Isn't something missing?"

You won't cry for my absence,
I know -You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?

Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?

Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
I know what you do to yourself,
I breathe deep and cry out,
"Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?"

And if I bleed, I'll bleed,
Knowing you don't care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
I'll wake without you there,
Isn't something missing?
Isn't something...

Berhenti Berharap : sheila On 7

aku tak percaya lagi
dengan apa yang kau beri
aku terdampar di sini
tersudut menunggu mati

aku tak percaya lagi
akan guna matahari
dengan mampu menerangi
sudut gelap hati ini

aku berhenti berharap
dan menunggu datang gelap
sampai nanti suatu saat
tak ada cinta kudapa
tkenapa ada derita

bila bahagia tercipta
kenapa ada sang hitam
bila putih menyenangkan...

Chorus:
aku pulang...tanpa dendam
kuterima.. kekalahanku
aku pulang...tanpa dendam
kusalutkan.. kemenanganmu

kau ajarkan aku bahagia
kau ajarkan aku derita
kau tunjukkan aku bahagia
kau tunjukkan aku derita
kau berikan aku bahagia
kau berikan aku derita

the one with the broken heart

1:04 AM
Saturday, January 22, 2005

Ever since I started this blog, I kept asking myself, how is this blog going to be? Is it going to be my personal diary, writing down each and every one of my thoughts, despite how irrelevant it might be? Risking the fact that my own friends could be reading this? How personal can I get? Or should I just write the good stuff that happens? Or is this going to be a blog for pure entertainment reading pleasure?

After much thought, I realize that I'm not that great with words. I can't write satirical witty blog entries. What I can be is as honest as I can be. But there's a limit to how personal I will be. So here goes?

I had a bad day at work on Thursday and I was looking forward so much for Friday to come cos it's Hari Raya Haji. People always warn you to be careful of what you wish for.

Well, that Friday that I was so looking forward to turn out to be the worst day of my life. Or maybe it was destined to be. I know he'll never read this. But some of his friends might. But somehow if he ever saw this somewhere, I hope he knows that the last time we talked would be the last he will hear my voice. And my msg for him that fateful day was the last he'll ever read from me. We can't stay as friends. Goodbye.