stop looking for the RAINBOW.

sweet tooth

2007-06-03T13:12:00.000+08:00

The good people always leave huh? The cupcake was given by one of the lawyers I work with.

Thanks Nad! :D The cupcake was too cute to eat!

blast from the past

2007-06-02T13:07:00.000+08:00

Coming soon at a theatre near YOU!

Doubts

2007-05-27T11:31:00.001+08:00

It used to make me smile
As I watched you sleep
Soundly.
Peacefully.
Your steady breathing
Matching your heartbeat.

Looking so angelic
Eyes shut and a smile
Upon your lips
But now I wonder
If your smile was
ever for me?

Stop Looking For The Rainbow

2007-05-08T15:58:00.001+08:00

Sometimes it’s just a waste of time
To just watch you drive
Almost a sinful pleasure
You, being in control of where we’re heading
Driving aimlessly looking for something
To satisfy this hunger
This barrenness you felt.
Just like I did
A failure attempt
Striving to survive
Struggling to save ourselves
To save us from being void
Then reality sinks in fast
The perfect senseless conclusion
Why are we looking for the rainbow
when it hasn’t even rained?

same old brand new you

2007-05-07T15:42:00.000+08:00

HEY!! I'm back. and I hope it's for the good of mankind...

Have been out from the blogging world for a looong time...

Felt like a new born baby...actually I planned to scrap this blog and start a new one all over again.. but what's the difference? At least I have the older post in here.

Okay here's post number one...

mooshi mooshi

2007-01-01T22:13:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year everyone! And also Selamat Hari Raya Haji to all Muslims.. okay... belated.. heheh.

Spent the first day of 2007 with a bang by doing --- watching a movie.. haha. How exciting, I know. It's just that feeling a tad lazy, so best way to spend a 4-day weekend is to chill. Anyways, went to catch Death Note 2. Yeah, the japanese anime-turn-movie that everyone is talking about. Well, not EVERYONE. But everyone in the nime circle that is. I love Japanese Anime, but I was a bit reluctant on this one. I find the anime a tad slow moving compared to X (Clamp), Bleach, Inuyasha or Samurai X. But after watching Death Note 1 the movie, it's quite interesting I guess. Probably because the movie is moving at a faster speed than the anime or manga is. Anyways, because we went to watch a Japanese film, we felt like it was only right to "feeling" Japanese a bit lah. Went to Ramen 10 to eat some Jap food. Hahaha.. Okay, Hope 2007 is gonna be a great one!

Back in the village...

2006-12-14T22:50:00.000+08:00

For the first time in my life I can truly said that I "balik kampong". ("Balik" means "return" and "kampong" means "village". "Balik kampong" in Malay means to go back to your village hometown where you were originally from.) Okay so, it's not exactly MY kampong. I wasn't from there. I'm a city-born kid. But I've always envied people saying they are going back to their kampong for Hari Raya and stuff. I do go to my Uncle's kampong and my Grandaunts kampong in JB. But it's a one day affair, more like visiting. Not exactly "return".

Last weekend, I actually went to a village somewhere in Indonesia. My late-grandfather's relatives' village. And stayed there for 3 days...YES. A city girl like me in a VILLAGE. Okay, so I cheated. I stayed in a hotel. But still for the rest of the day was spent going all over the island to visit god knows how many long lost relatives...not to mention some cute second-cousins and all! Hehhee...

The 2 hour ferry ride is one that I will not forget for a long time. I almost thought I was on a jet-ski. It was raining,mind you. I was not exactly sea-sick but I think my heart stopped beating on a few occasions when the whole ferry jumped. I'm not kidding.

One of the thing I valued while I was there was well, time. It's like you have all the time in the world. Yes, I was on leave, so I wouldn't think about work. But see even if we're at home, we'll be thinking of doing so many thing we didn't get to do on a daily basis due to work. And in the end, we tire ourselves trying to do so many things. But over there, its like you have all the time in the world. No planning whatsoever. It's all impromtu, whirlwind ride. It's a carefree life I could get used to.

And sleep is another thing which is weird. Somehow the night seems so long and you've felt like you've slept enough and when you turn to look at your watch. It's only 5.30AM. Here, I've always felt like I didn't get enough sleep!

Can I survive there? Well, apart from being a prey for all the mozzies there (I think I've donated so much blood!), and the "toilet and bathroom" situation, it's a peaceful place to unwind. Do I want to live there? Err...let's just say that if I buy over the whole island and build proper plumbing system and roads, it's a possible place to migrate to. :D

silence

2006-09-19T21:09:00.000+08:00

I just don't know what to say.
or how to say what I feel.
I don't even know WHAT I feel.
I was going through a bad writer's block.
Then all these things happening one after another.

Just realised that in the last 3 weeks, I have been taking Medical Leave or Urgent Leave every single week.

I just feel like shit.

2006-07-24T22:11:00.001+08:00

I've managed to get the pictures up. Take a look!

2006-07-24T22:11:00.000+08:00

I've managed to get the pictures up. Take a look!

something old and something new

2006-07-22T23:32:00.000+08:00

I've finally updated my blog.
Well, sort of. More like changin gthe layout.
Putting up this layout is quite a battle really.

The designer ego in me was TORN in two.
One hand, this is such a great skin to use for a blog and display for the world to see.
On the other hand, this is NOT my design.
And I can only wish I designed this myself.
I swallowed my ego and pride cos it's just too beautiful not to use.

But of course, not to be outdone I have done some graphics myself just to blend with the blog's skin. Yeah it's not that great looking but I had to make the profile picture look somewhat similar to the blog's main design.

And yes, I'm working on the photos section. It's not up yet cos I'm still tweaking the dhtml and javascript codes. It's a neat code from dhtmldrive. I'm not that a genius to program it myself. But putting it all together into the blog is another story considering blogspot has no server to upload css stylesheet and all those IT jargon which I will not bore you guys with. Anyways look out for the photos bit.

things to do when you're bored

2006-07-05T12:06:00.000+08:00

I don't do surveys and questionaires and what have yous. But I'm sick, at home and bored. So, here goes.

Your 10 favorites:

Favorite food: Chicken Rice, Mee Bandung, Mee Betawi
Favorite song: Weird by Hanson (all time fave. it'll make make cry and then I'll feel better)
Favorite movie: Baz Lurhman's Romeo and Juliet
Favorite sport: web-surfing
Favorite season: what season? it's hot, hot, hot and hot in singapore.
Favorite day of the week: whenever there's a holiday
Favorite ice-cream flavour: chocolate, brownie and choc dough

9 current:

Current mood: drugged out (cos of the cough medicine the doc gave me)
Current clothes: pink tee and jeans
Current desktop: some guy surfing.
Current toenail colour: what's the original colour? i don't paint my nails.
Current time: 12:09pm
Current annoyance: workload at the office
Current thoughts: wish i can sleep now....

8 first:

First best friend: i got lots of best friends when i was a kid... but hardly contact them anymore. so I'd say my truest best friends are Rissa and Princess (you know who you are babes).
First crush: sec 1 - one of my classmates
First movie: ninja turtle the movie when i was 6.
First piercing: ears
First lie: what kinda lie? white lie? or real lie?
First music: I memorised the alphabets by singing "A, B, C, D..."
First car: when i was a kid - toy car of course.

7 last:

Last cigarette: never even had a first
Last drink: a cup of milo this morning for breakfast
Last car ride: took a cab few weeks ago.
Last crush: some guy i saw on the train. dunno his name though
Last movie seen: Just My Luck
Last phone call: This morning
Last CD played: I can't remember...my cd collections collecting dust now.

6 Have you ever:

Have you ever date one of your best friends: my best friends are girls
Have you ever broken the laws: maybe...
Have you ever been arrested: nu uh.
Have you ever been skinny dipped: skinny showered, yeah.
Have you ever been on tv: yeah.. when we play those home videos...
Have you ever kiss someone you don't know: hey, the least you could do is know their name first alright?

5 things you are wearing:

t-shirt
jeans
makeup
bra
underwear

4 things you have done today:

blogged,
look for Charmed theme song
laundry
grocery shopping

3 things you can hear right now:

my mum cooking (in fact i can smell the food)
my fingers tapping on the keyboard
Queen of the Damed soundtrack

2 things you can't live without:

purpose in life
people you love

1 Things you do when you are bored:

read

And now, for the 5 people you tag:

no idea yet

happy birthday to me

2006-06-29T23:40:00.000+08:00

thanx to everyone who smsed me the great birthday wishes. honestly, i don't feel any different except that I'm a year older being 23. NEways, I decide to list TOP 5 unforgetable birthday moments not in any order of preferences.

5. Two years back when my girlfriends sent me flowers to my office! That was a suprised. I think i cried a lot that birthday.

4. HE sang me a birthday song at the struck of midnight. Yeah, he's romantic like that but then he's a liar... so..oh well.*shrughs*

3. Opening my front door only to be greeted by some of my poly friends with a big birthday cake and a huge bday pressie. They came all the way from Tampines/Pasir Ris to the west area! Thanks guys! Muaks.

2. Celebrating my birthday, my brother's birthday and my niece's birthday at Malacca last year eating seafood!

1. I can't forget all the funny, wacky birthday dinner at Secret Recipe this year with my girls! It eas the best laughs EVER!!! I think we nearly get kicked out of the restaurant! (PS: eh.. dia tk kerje factory lah... masih pat situ...you know who i'm talking about.)

Pictures..I promise will be up in a few days???

cos i had a bad day...

2006-06-20T15:37:00.000+08:00

You're down in the dumps.
Your work is piling up. You're sick of all of these and thought of quiting.
You want a change of environment.
Nothing to do with the industry you're working in.
You fell sick. You got an MC.
What's the worst thing could happen?

A phone call from a stat board (i don't want to name names here) regarding your job application(?) and whether you're free to come for an intervi1.ew tomorrow at 9.00AM?

Yes, this sounds liike an opportunity to get out, right?
Why then could I find 5 things to say no to this interview?

1. What job application??? You mean the one I sent a YEAR ago?
2. I am so swamped with work, I cannot take a day off to go for an interview at 9 AM!
3. I have already taken a 2-day MC, I simply can't take another off day unless I really think I can get this new job cos I'll definitely get fired if i take an urgent leave.
4. I applied so loooong ago, I can't even remember what positioned it is for.
5. Hello, a YEAR AGO????!!!

life as a working mum

2006-06-04T14:28:00.000+08:00

Yes, I have been on hiatus for too long. Or as ridjal said, a "hiati".
For the most time I'm busy with my work. And since I've been gone from blogging world, I had a baby. Well, two babies actually. And you know how it is...
I've got pictures of both of them. As they were really unplanned..I haven''t had time to give them names. Perhaps, you guys could help me out?

back with a ...

2006-05-15T09:30:00.000+08:00

Do you realise how I often go on hiatus without so much of a warning, THEN, I come back with a BANG, new layout, songs, themes and all that jazz?

And I somehow hope as if all that jazz will make up for the fact I've been gone so long?

I better stop that now. I feel like a parent who've neglect her children and suddenly one day I come back with lots of toys to make up for my absence...this isn't right.

of Klutz and Kraziness

2006-03-27T17:49:00.000+08:00

Just one day at home form work and guess what did I do?
I broke one dessert dish and wreck my HP printer trying to print a CD label.
Thank goodeness, I have another kinda oldish HP printer lying around in my house.
Except it hasn't been used since forever so it's kinda rusty.
Luckily, I Dad asked me to put some kind of oil to it anf it works.
Except it ran out of ink.
So I had to go get the ink.

I was already thinking of buying a new printer if all else fails.
A photo-printer of some sort.
Baru dapat surat from CPF entitling me to the budget money thingey.
Macam tau-tau jer nak dapat duit.

Confessions

2006-03-23T21:59:00.000+08:00

I was thinking of joining Ridjal's BlogMarathon but I don't think I sit through all 10 posts. But reading entries of the blogmarathon-ers, I'm enthused by one particular topic.

Confessions.

You see, back in secondary school, when writing each other's autograph book was the "in" thing, a friend once wrote that I'm very good at looking very INNOCENT. I didn't get what she meant, so I asked her. She said that I have the tendency to look very innocent even when I'm not. That's sort of true. I ALMOST got into trouble a lot of times when I was younger but I manage to weasel my way out! And boy do I remember all the "not so innocent" things I get up to back then.

1. The Hit And Run Incident

It happen at this shop bawah blok my house, when I was about 9. My mum asked me to get her a bottle of tau-chu as she wanted to make mee rebus. I was walking around trying to find that damn bottle. In the end I found it and quickly rush to pay for it. In my haste and klutzy-ness, I actually knocked a bottle of tau-chu down. Miraculously, although the bottle broke, it didn't make a loud sound. So I pretended I didn't do anything wrong and paid for my bottle and ran all the way home! I never told anyone about it.

2. Internet

I was a computer nerd back in secondary school. Was in the computer clubs designing webpages. Web design back then was using Microsoft Front page and everything looks like it's from a powerpoint slide. My friends and I wanted to use the net to chat. My computer club teacher allowed us to use the computer in the teacher's room. We were busy chatting when one nosy teacher looked over to what we were doing. She asked what were we doing upon seeing the chatroom. My friends who are usually loud, always with things to say, just stared at each other. Me being the quite one look at the teacher straight in the eye and told her that we're from the Computer Club (true!) doing a project (true also!) and using this chatroom as a guide as we are incorporating it into out website (utter rubbish!). She actually bought my story!

3. STAGE

I'm no stranger to being on stage in school. Apart from participating in dances, dramas, and receiving prizes on stage, I always got caught for talking in the halls and had to stand on stage as a punishment.

4. HIDE-AND-SEEK

When I was 14, I got into one of the most notorious classes. We made relief teachers quit after teaching us for a week. One lesson, somehow no teachers came to our class. We were all getting restless, started going to the toilet at Level 3. My class is at Level 2. Nearest ladies on level 2 is at the other end of the block. See, in my school, you need a pass for "loitering" around the school during lesson time. But almost half the class are out. While we were all hanging out near the stairs which is right beside my classroom (we get a corner room) someone shouted that the Discipline Master (DM) is walking towards us. We can't go back to class, as he'll definitely see us. So we RAN up to level 3 and hide in the empty classrooms. We hide under the tables right below the windows, closed the windows and doors. We heard footsteps, someone opening the door. Then close the door and walked off. We waited for a good five minutes before we ran back to our class. That was CLOSE.

5. WHITE LIES

In sec 3, my Civics and Moral teacher told us that we need our workbooks the next day and NOT to forget to bring it. We'll be punished if we forget. When I reach school the next day, I realize I didn’t bring it along. So before school starts, I went to see her and told her I lost my book and that I couldn't find it at home. We spent the next 10 minutes searching the teachers' room for my "missing" book. She saw how worried I am. Said that maybe I've misplaced it and not to worry. Just try looking for it again at home. Don't think she'll be proud of my moral if she knew the truth!

Well, I got away with most thing in secondary school. But in Poly, the lecturers saw through me. Got into arguments with them instead. Maybe I lost my touch? Maybe I don’t look that innocent no more?

5 signs you hate your job

2006-03-13T20:02:00.000+08:00

5 signs you hate your job (not in any particular order)

5. You STUDY the calendar and make sure you take leave the day before or after a 3-day weekend holiday.

4. The first thing you check every day is your bosses calender and note when she's on leave or at a meeting.

3. You only LIVE for Fridays.

2. You've worked out how many days a month you can take leave or call in sick.

1. You see the doctor at the slightest sign that you're unwell hoping to get an MC!

Why you don't quit your job?: It pays WELL.

UNFOUND

2006-02-23T14:54:00.000+08:00

Opened my eyes and regained my senses
Felt something went astray
The difficulty to express myself
My lips refusing to betray
I stood in front of the mirror
A blistered soul I'm seeing
A girl smiling yet teary-eyed.
Reflecting her muddled feelings.

Grabbed my coat and slammed the door.
I don't now what to feel anymore
A sense of hope, an ease of pain
My skin is wet, my clothes soaked by the rain
A senseless journey of no direction
To be unfound, to hide away.
But if somehow you ever find me,
Tell me now, what will you say?

ker-ching!

2006-02-21T21:56:00.000+08:00

no wonder my hands are feeling itchy.

malay translation: tangan aku gatal ah....

go read this guys!

guess who's back? back again.

2006-02-12T15:59:00.000+08:00

FINALLY.

After scouring around the cyber world for awhile, I finally found my favourite blogger of all time.

This guy is one hellava-writer.

Go HERE.

to buy or not to buy? - that is the question.

2006-02-02T16:32:00.000+08:00

You know how it is when you are super broke and then all these shops are having SALES?

And you know when you have the dough to spend on and you just can't find anything nice to buy?

Yeah, it's one of those days, apparently.
I seriously think this blog is turning out to be one of those "girlblogs" where it'll be about guys, shopping and what have yous.

Someone knocked me in the head if I'm turning Apocalips to beone of those. The blogging world has somehow come to a halt for me.

I have time only to update my site.
Sometimes.
Occasionally.
Once in a blue moon.

I didn't have time to surf and read other blogs and ever since Podah.com and MohdKhair.com seems to shut down, most blogs are just mundane and almost alike. Of course, the blogs linked to mine are the good ones. :D

Flight of the butterfly

2006-01-29T16:47:00.000+08:00

Flight of the butterfly by N.Aishah

Hiding behind these dark colours
Sending negative notes of trust
Hoping no one will approach.
No reciprocating of lust.

Peeking behind these dark wings
Watching the sunlight dance in glee
Afraid that if I peeked too much
I'll fall down to my knees

Broken wings and tattered heart
Bloodied hands and blistered feet
Though my pride has been tainted
Head held high, I admit defeat

Patiently waiting for the wounds to heal
So deeply engraved into my skin
Holding faithfully to a promise
Of a better life unseen

Finally bravery has settled in
Before courage past me by
Slowly.
Very slowly, I open up my wings
To begin the flight of the butterfly

a walk to remember

2006-01-22T19:49:00.000+08:00

I have been feeling pretty low lately.
ever since hari raya haji.
and after I finally watched a walk to remember (yes, FINALLY!), I lost it.
i just sobbed out all my pain, my hurt, my sufferings.

I didn't wanna watch that movie cos I initially thought it was some stupid teen movie. but my cousin told me, I's a great movie. really sad. and truthfully it was one of those movie you'll never forget. like sometimes you go to the cinemas, watched a movie and then forgot all about it when you get home. this is NOT one of those.

I's heart-wrenching.
I wish half the guys i met were like Landen Carter.
Forget half.
I just i could meet 1 person like Landen.

One of my best friend said we should migrate somewhere else to find a good guy.
I think guys everywhere is the SAME.
It's a morbid thought but sometimes I'm convinced I will die young and hence not supposse to meet the right guy.

time flies when you're having fun. NOT!

2006-01-11T20:34:00.000+08:00

it's been a year.
can't remember the exact date but it was last Hari Raya Haji.
and suddenly, 10 days into 2006, i finally am able to sum up how 2005 have been for me.
all in one bloody song! i love this song.
but the lyric's just too damn accurate.

Question. Are you happy now?

lucky number 19!

2005-12-29T22:52:00.000+08:00

One of the lawyers got a hamper, probably from one of our clients.
The staff wanted to distribute the contents to everyone, so they thought why not make it to a lucky draw. Each item was randomly given numbers and we're supposed to pick a number.
Guess what I won?

theGREATunexpectation

2005-12-23T20:33:00.000+08:00

you know how embarrassing it is when someone gives you a christmas present and you don't have any to give in return because either you don't plan to give, you forgot to buy or the person just didn't seem important enough. Furthermore, you don't celebrate Xmas.

still it's embarrasing.
especially when the one who gave you the present is your boss!

'tis the season to be KIASU?

2005-12-16T17:08:00.000+08:00

You'd think Shah Rukh Khan was in town yesterday.
Or Bon Jovi. Or some boybands!
It was a stampede. Singaporeans true nature just
came out and oozes kiasu-ism. And these are not
aunties or makciks from the neighbourhood. These
are power-suit executives in their designer heels.

It was only 8:15AM mind you.
The craziness. The shoving. The bitching.
And yours truly was there too.
Can't believe I actually got up early when I'm always late for work.
Grabbed what I needed and paid for it.

In all, the MANGO SALE was rather disappointing. But I have this feeling they're gonna slash the prices further.

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.

2005-11-30T16:06:00.000+08:00

Alrite Alrite,
Eli, no complaints eh?
I'm updating now.

First of all, Salam Aidilfitri. It's not too late to wish, I hope.
It's only 28 Syawal. I'm two days early to be considered belated.

Secondly, to those whom I owe pictures of birthday gathering, dinners and raya outings,
Please be patient. I lost the usb cable for my Olympus digicam.
Got cheated by this lady who sold me a usb cable for 10 bucks.
Then I realize Olympus had a special pin that is different from most.
So that 10 bucks was a waste. Could have bought new SHOES with that,

Bought a card reader instead. But my computer decides to throw tantrums.
So, I'll get them pics uploaded as soon as I possibly can.

Thirdly.
I have sinned.
I have not updated this blog since…last month??
I'm beginning to be in a rut.
No time to blog and when I do have time, I don't have anything to blab about.
I mean, blog about.

I will try.
I'm turning over a new leaf.
Oh yeah Eli, thanks for the bag babe!

deja vu

2005-10-22T11:55:00.000+08:00

really it's true.
it's like its happening all over again.
same hospital.
same islamic month.
two years ago, it was my late grandmother.
now it's my uncle.
and stupid doctors asking "how long has he been having high blood pressure?"
"does he have other illness?"

if we all know that, we would be doctors now, won't we?

it's going down

2005-10-10T20:00:00.000+08:00

seems like forever since my last update.

sorry.

i have been swamped with work and my darling company just doesn't give me access to the net. Although if they do give me access, i wouldn't blog there as there are things on this blog not suitable for viewing by certain ppl(ie the BOSS)...if you catch my drift.

And times like NOW that i have the time to blog, i just don't know what to write.
Writer's block? more like goblok( javanese word for dumb)...yeah.. kalau anak jawa bisa aja jadi anak jawa...okay i better stop mumbling stuff...i'm not making any sense...

bitter after taste

2005-09-18T12:50:00.000+08:00

it saddens me to know that you
lost your sight to happiness
Not seeing that i was held at gunpoint
to make a fallacy to confess
my hands tied back
facing my worst fears
yet i smiled at you
while i wipe my tears

you must be blind
or are you blinded by shame?
why can't you seem to admit
it's you whom I should blame
but no, i wouldn't scold or chide you
no i wont call you names
i won't stoop to that level
just to cause you pain

why you failed to notice
that i held my blistered heart bare?
cos you're blindfolded by bliss
perhaps you never did care
i pused aside your rush
I ignored your haste
So you took the sweetness
out of my misery and left
me with the bitter after taste.

is there something missing?

2005-09-11T19:49:00.000+08:00

I just got back on Tuesday from my 4 day trip to Cameron Highlands and KL with the whole family (the whole BUS!) and that means i'm suppossed to be on a good mood really. Go to work on Wednesday. Then Thurday I'm on leave again. Sending my brother off to Tekong for his BMT. And Friday I had to face work again.

This week by far has got to be the shortest week EVER.

But it was otherwise. I was a wreck on Friday. I kept going to the loo every few hours to cry. I was in no way metally, emotionally or physically stable to be working on that day. But, I pulled through anyway. Somehow.

I was tired from the trip and haven't got sufficient rest. I was coming down with flu bug or something. Work, has really taken a toll on me now. And I guess, I miss my brother. Yep, I actually miss that pain in the ass!

I never thought I'd feel this way. I've always had a great relationship with both my brothers. I've always felt protective of them. especially the youngest one. But the one who has just gone for his NS, we're only 2 years apart and even though he's younger than me, sometimes he acts like my older brother! Being so close in age, sometimes he's like my twin. I never had a sister so I wouldn't know how it feels like to talk abt guys and clothes and stuff with a sibling. But my brother and I do share a lot of stuff together. We talk about things we don't talk to our parents about. And we do understand each other. We talk about relationships we have, the hard times we're going through.

And yeah, I seldom see him when he's at home either cos he's always out or some Silat competition or with his friends or school. But he's there for late night talks when I can't sleep, since we're the only two ppl in this house who sleep past midnight. So in a way, I lost my confidante. It is really hard for me. Ever since I stop working in my old firm, I have been looking foward to spending time at home with my brothers cos that's when I can trully be happy. Now, it seems like things just gets harder.

whining...

2005-08-14T14:10:00.000+08:00

i'm just taking a breather from sending out my resumes to prospective employers...
I hope the updates on my layout and stuff is enough to cover the lack of entries these past few months.

Yes, I'm still in the search of the perfect job. However I'm not foolish.
I will only leave once I've secured another job.
I've learn my lesson like a good girl should.

Newayz, I will answer some of your questions on my tag in this entry.. It's a hassel to use the tagboard cos it has limited character count.

to LaLa: Yes, it's a shame we live in such society where ppl do wash their dirty laundry outside the house. I guess they just don't want the house to get dirty?

to Shiqin: I love Weezer to, but I love Muse more! ;)

to Mada: lol! Where I get my music hosted? Ahh... it's a secret. hahah.. nah, just go here and you'll figure it out! It's heaven for music lovers like us, I tell you!

Tomorrow is another Monday! Time flies ain't it? My Boss will be back on Tuesday! I was wishing she got stuck on and Island somewhere like LOST and never got back.
Her secretary's all packed and set to leave the company...yep, she resigned. The stressload is getting to her. I get this feeling the Boss is counting on me to takeover.
I'm not even pass the 3 months limit from this place, for God's sake! It's a job that pays I guess...but it's not what I want. We don't get what we want though.

and what is it with people who seems to disappeared fro myour life for like half a year and you're not expecting to ever hear from them again and sudenly, "Poof!" they're back!
And you're wondering why they are in your life once again and suddenly they did a 180 on you once more and you're left wondering if they are in this earth just to make you THINK, QUESTION and PONDER. As if you haven't already been racking your brains out during the work week.

music for the soul

2005-08-09T16:33:00.000+08:00

i don't know if any of you realise this but i've got music on apocalips...

The song's that's playing now is by one of my favourite bands, Muse. It's called "Time is Running Out". If it's not your cup of tea, then you can select any of the three songs form the numerals "1", "2" and "3" on your right. And if you think the songs are kinda irritating, pardon me, cos it's all punk-RAWK, you can turn it off by clicking the music note icon.

The other two songs available is:
1. Hashpipe - Weezer
2. My Humps - Black Eyed Peas.

I'll kep changing the songs, so, stay tuned!

You're currently listening to Time Is Running Out by Muse.

morning sickness

2005-08-04T23:09:00.000+08:00

hey lady, men are SLOW.
they don't get it why we get pissed off when they help another women.
they can never say 'NO' if someone ask them for help.
Especially beautiful women.
They just don't understand why we get jealous.

But that doesn't mean you can scream your head of at your husband,
scold him, humiliate him and just brush him off, in front of so many
train commuters especially during the rush hour.

Sheesh! Some ppl just aim at destroying my peaceful morning.

fix this asphyxiation

2005-07-31T00:30:00.000+08:00

fix this asphyxiation

Retrace the footsteps
That led me to this defeat
Retract the acrid words of treason
Of which to you I speak
With such maliciousness
Shattering your smiles
Without the intention to
With my venomous pride
To you, now I beseech
For the security
That once I disregard
Roller-coaster stability
Asphyxiate me from this nightmare
Before I fall in slumber
And to wake to reality
Facing death in fear.

what's in a name

2005-07-18T22:35:00.000+08:00

out of the blue, i got an invitation to be hosted by one of the most talented web designer around.
Brenda rocks!

i'm just thinking of a name for my webbie.
So apocalips will be moving.
And there will be a name change.

Any ideas you guys?
For a cool name?
Post it on the tagboard or email me.

5 signs to know if you're getting OLD

2005-07-18T22:27:00.000+08:00

5. You're idea of a good time for the weekend is catching up on sleep, sleep and SLEEP.

4. $2.00 is deducted from your bank account if the amount is less than $500.

3. You get more and more invitations for wedding, engagement, open house, baby showers.

2. You realise your YOUNGER brother is turning 20 this year.

1. You still think Zordon runs the commence centre for the Power Rangers.

spoiled for choice

2005-07-09T00:12:00.000+08:00

It's another Friday gone by.

And everytime I meet my relatives or friends they all ask me "How's your new job?" "Chances of staying?"

Honest to goodness, I don't know.
Like I said I'm suffering from quarter-life crisis. I'm a twenty-something woman not knowing what she wants in her life yet.

On one hand, I can do this job. They want me to learn more cos I "learn fast". Which from my 2 years of working knowledge tells me it translates to "We're short-handed. You seem to be able to handle it. Can you do more work?".

And call me lazy, but I believe that if your working hours is 8.45 to 5.45.. and that's how it should be. Unless of course it's my passion. Unfotunately I can only dabble on design as a part- time freelancer. In Singapore, one has to always thrived to be the BEST.

We are all rushing for time. Time = money. It's time we should take a step back and enjoy life.
I met up with a friend who's studying in Australia. She told me when she's here, what she misses is the laid back lifestyle she has adopted there. She said that the last bus there is 5.30PM. Meaning, everyone's home by that time. And shops closes early. Like 7pm or so. Nightlife is boring but you've got more time to spend with your friends and family.

And get this, NO ONE horns at the traffic. Everyone just waits patiently.

Mkhan is right.
Migrating is an option.

the birthday week

2005-07-05T17:35:00.000+08:00

the past week has been busy. REALLY.
it was the birthday week and i had plans!

ALL failed cos i fell sick on Monday with fever and flu..
was really bad that i couldn't even sit up straight. my head was really heavy...
stayed home on tuesday again and i can imagine what the people at work would say.
"budak baru tu, baru kerje sebulan dah lima hari cuti. tsk tsk."

oh well. it's not like i asked to be sick.

but still i gathered up enough energy to meet up my girls at Swensen's for a small celebration. it was suppossed to be at Esplanade. but it was great nonetheless. i love my girls... i got what i wanted! :D

and Sunday, my family with all the aunties, uncles and cousins, trudge down to Melacca. It's my cousin's wedding anniversary and my niece's birthday. Plus my brother's birthdy is today but we kinda celebrated his in advance. We went to Umbai for a seafood FEAST. And I mean FEAST.

Reached Singapore around 11pm. Was really tired but I had software training on Monday, so i had to work. And knowing me, i took leave for today instead to sleep in. Darn, should have had taken the leave yesterday cos it was raining and all.

writer's block

2005-06-26T21:09:00.000+08:00

i thought that being at home, there would be lack of ideas to write.

i thought being out at work, i'd have more ideas to write. Instead, i'd be too knackered or simply NOTHING to write about. and i wonder why?

i log on to my blog everyday and feel like filling the pages with words BUT, i just can't seem to find anything remotely interesthing to say.

life quickly becomes a routine, mundane and boring.

a piece of heaven

2005-06-20T23:54:00.000+08:00

i think this is the long-awaited entry about my holiday! Initially I wanted to make a photo-documentary about the trip but lack of photos, disk space and health, I couldn't achieve my goal. I'll try my best though.

Fri 8.30PM
Rissa's at my house and we're just hanging out and after solat we got ready to go.

10.15PM
The rest of the family members are already waiting at the appointed pick-up area.
It's a short trip to Tuas link and things went smoothly. No traffic jams, thank goodness. We got through Malaysian immigration centre as smooth as a baby's bum.

PASS MIDNITE
We reached our first pit stop for a 45 minutes toilet-coffee-smoke break. I, for one am very PARTICULAR about my toilet. I need a pungent free loo. However, as you would expect, JB toilets are FAMOUS for their hygiene. You might find my name in the Guinness Book having state a record for the holding my breath the longest in a toilet. Went to some sort of a minimart for snacks and had a glass of TT(aka Teh Tarik).

1.20AM - journey continues.
Watched some stupid vcd they played on tv. TRIED to catch some zzzz.

4.30AM
stop at some place for toilet break. There's no water!

5.15AM
Reached Putrajaya Mosque for solat subuh. Breathtakingly beautiful.

7.00AM
Breakfast at nearby kopishop. Went to Cocoa Boutique. Went to KL CC after that. And we stop by Berjaya Times Square. My brother, Rissa and I sneaked in to Kenny Rogers for Lunch.

3.30PM
Finally check into our hotel. The best thing about traveling with a best friend is sharing the room just the two of you! First thing we check was our King sized bed!
After testing the quality of the bedsprings, we check out the other facilities. We had some cable channels. But our TV seems to be showing blue screens.
Called the reception and the TV guy sure took his damn sweet time to come up. In the end I decide to solve the prob myself. I bend over to check out the tv cables and realize that one of the cables weren't plugged in. And just a minute later, we were watching some Hindi film on TV3...

5.20PM
Off to Masjid India (the local version of Little India). I learnt something about their traffic rules. When it's green light, it means Go. And when the lights are red, it means GO. Accident heaven. I'm truly amazed how the locals know which car's going to let them pass and which will kill them. As Rissa commented "Kalau Singapore nyer Traffic Police ada kat sini, semua kena saman, seh!" (English: If Singapore's Trafffic Police is here, all these people will be fined!") Neways, we managed to get some shopping done. Rissa got a scraf for her mum, I got one for my friend. And I even got a skirt. The WORST part was going through the "pasar malam" or night market. If I hear 1 more comment on my large flower brooch, I'll slap someone till they can't stand no more. I could've chopped off my foot and carry it. I was that tired! One of my cousins nearly got lost. He's only 6! We created quite a commotion. Imagine 7 families walking around the pasar malam at the same time?

7.30PM
Finally reached the hotel for dinner. Me and Rissa was so knackered, we had "Dinner in Bed". We quickly pack for the next day as we'll be checking out after breakfast and heading off to Colmar.

11.00PM
Fell asleep with the TV watching us.

Sunday 7.45AM
Was late for breakfast cost we sleep in after subuh. Rush through our make-up. We got through breakfast with eyes partly closed!

9.30AM
And off we go to Colmar. 10.30AMThey decided to stop by Arwah P. Ramlee's house. Which is now converted into a museum. Too bad, cameras weren't allowed.

11.30AM
Arrived in some "Rest and Relax" centre for lunch and prayers. I bought Mc Flurry cos I wasn't hungry.And off we go to Colmar. The ride uphill was terrible. My breakfast was already up my throat!

1.30PM
We've reached paradise!

2.00PM
The rooms weren't ready yet. So off we go to the Japanese/Botanical garden.I have to say, punctuality is not the Hotel's strong point.

4.40PM
We finally got our keys! We got the room overlooking the town. We got a suite. A living room, a gorgeous bedroom and the bathroom's perfect!

5.20PM
Went to the Rabbits park. The Tram that's supposed to take us back to the hotel was scheduled to pick us up at 6.35. It arrived fashionably late at 7.10.

7.30PM
Went shopping for souvenirs. Had to go back to the room cos I was having gastritis. Well the night could have been much better and enjoyable by going for dinner and photo taking. Unfortunately, my gastritis was the bane of my holiday trip. I was curled up in the sofa watching MTV. Poor Rissa didn't go out cos I was unwell.

11.00PM
Fell asleep, feeling bloated.

Monday
5.40AM
Been waking up every hour since 2am cos my tummy hurts. And suddenly I was throwing up whatever I ate the day before. And I've been to the loo like 5 times.

7.00AM
My mum told me the doctors coming in half an hour's time. Of course, he decide to be fashionably late too and only arrived at 8.10 after Rissa called the reception.

8.45AM
All our bags are packed and ready to go.I managed to psych myself to look "un-sickly" in pictures.. I mean I'm here, let's not waste the camera!

9.45AM
We left for Seremban. To shop at Nilai 3.

9.30PM
Reached Singapore safely. Was too knackered to even watch Desperate Housewives.

Thank goodness i took leave on Tuesday and slept almost the whole day. I still wasn't feeling ok on Wed so I went to see the doc and got an MC. Only went back to work on Thur and Fri.

my plug-in baby

2005-06-14T22:28:00.000+08:00

I'm still trying to find time to blog about the trip and just about manage to resize, rotate and edit some of the photos and FINALLY upload them up for my best friends!

Guess what? Over the weekend, I bought a new toy!
Pretty nifty eh? I LOVE my baby.

Although, it would have been much more appreciated if the bargain had been before my Colmar trip. I wouldn't have to practically beg everyone I know who owns a digicam for me to borrow. I have to thank a dear friend of mine who always comes to my rescue.

Thanks to dearest mum who lent me 300 bucks from the family fund (while I come up with to top up the sum I had so I can buy the cam in cash. I hate installments. I hate the idea of setting aside a specific sum of money to pay off debts every month. HP bills are bad enough. Of course, I have to pay off my mum when I get my pay end of this month. Boo hoo. Oh well, let's just enjoy the toy!

Marilah Bergoyang

2005-06-08T17:14:00.000+08:00

I was on the way back from a clinic and I saw this banner near a traffic light.
What are we teaching our young generation? Tsk tsk tsk.

I am baaack people. With a vengeance!
How long has it been? My goodness, I've been on hiatus for WEEKS!
I miss you guys...

My work place sucks. No internet for me. I'm hoping they realise they need me to do stuff online and allow me access. Keeping my fingers crossed!

The trip to KL/Colmar/Seremban was GREAT!!!! I hated that it ended! It was off to a good start till I got sick on Monday morning, my last day there. Food poisoning. Yep, I was away since Friday night till Monday night. And I took Tuesday off to chill at home. And guess what? I'm sitting at home cos I'm on MC till tomorrow. I come back to work on Friday. Yippy, right? Not exactly. I'm on unpaid, UNPAID leave and MC, so I can see the $$$ flying away. I'm going back to work tomorrow. Of course, according to my lazy bones, let's just extend the MC till Friday. But reality check, baby!

I took photos. LOADS of photos!! I'm happy. The trip actually made me forget about work. I was just living for the moment. I love every minute of it. One complaint though, the toilet ALWAYS sucks! Neways, when I have more time, I'll blog about the trip! Who knows, I might even put some pictures up. :D

out of sight, out of mind

2005-05-29T20:07:00.000+08:00

well, i have to apologise profusely.
i have been busy with work and design that i didn't have the time to blog.
at all!

firstly, my work is much better that the one i just quit.
this one is right smack by the singapore river, so yeah, in case i get so stressed up, i can just jump into the river to asphyxiate myself. i'm still getting used to it.
still missed my old colleagues..well, only Aida lah. Whom, i have lunch with almost everyday as she works pretty close by.

first day of work and i had to finish up some stuff for my freelance project.
thank god it's over.
For now.

finally got my copy of PROSAIC magazine. It's great! Can't wait for the next one.

i might be MIA for awhile.
Cos I'm going for a HOLIDAY!!!
Only 5 more days!! :D

buy a chocolate bar so i can dream

2005-05-23T11:47:00.000+08:00

After catching Star Wars III Revenge of the Sith with an ex-poly mate, a sad realisation sank in.

Gone are the days when I could just hang out with my friends(having lunch, dinner, window shopping, or just lepak-ing), talking about everything under the sun, teasing, laughing and just having the time of our lives. Problems, worries, work, school and even life is forgotten. What matters is us, the laughter, the MOMENT. THAT moment. Such a kick I get out of it. An escape from reality, albeit a momentary one. Call it running away from your problems. Well, I call it bliss in ignorance.

Now it seems that everytime I went out with my friends, it has become more of a "let's-all-vent -our-work-frustrations" marathon. Instead of having a great time, all our frustrations are brought out in the open, making us remember about it while trying to "have fun". End of the day, instead of an escape, it's more of a confrontation. The only part I find true bliss was when someone turn off the lights of reality so I can escape into Hollywood.

Approx 2hr later, the harsh lights of reality almost blind my eyes.
Maybe this is growing up.
Maybe this is life.
Until then, I'm turning off the lights for an hour or two more.

thoughts of an insomniac

2005-05-18T22:19:00.000+08:00

The past two nights sleep has been a solution to forget my problems. I woke up feeling even worse cos I kept having nightmares the whole time.

I hurt you. You hurt me. We're even.
So I'm just doing this cos we started of as friends and it's a friendship that I don't want to lose. But here I am, doing my part. And you're just not doing anything. It takes two hands to clap. Whatever man. Happy Birthday and have a nice life.

What a twist for Survivor Palau.

Sweet, sweet Ian. When he made Tom promise to bring Katie to the final 2, that was the sweetest thing ever. Some of you think he's stupid, to give up a million bucks just like that. But he didn't lose his integrity. I'm really proud of him. Although I felt that NEITHER Katie nor Tom deserve the million bucks. It's a game, ALL of them have double alliances. Too bad Ian got caught! I just hate Tom's "holier than thou" attitude. He's attacking Ian about friendship, alliances and what not. Heck, Tom's just a great liar. At least, Ian got that gorgeous car.

On a brighter note, alhamdulillah, I was offered a job at another law firm. Haha.. yes ppl..I don't know what I'm getting myself into. I think I can never run from law firms. I'm scared. Very. I hope it's not bad like my old firm. Management and kerja so rabak. The pay's much much better though.

But I'm thinking of that Spiderman quote "Great power comes great responsibility". In this case it's "Great money comes great work"? I hope I could cope with this one. I was so lost when I was at the Finance company. I just have to pray and hope for the best. Funny thing, all the resumes I've sent after I left my recent job, only 2 called me up for interviews. This law firm that is offering me, I think I sent my resume to them like in April. So, it was really some sort of a miracle. I really hope this turns out good. Very short of cash!!!

I'll start on Tuesday. And they have no Internet access. So, looks like I might not get the chance to blog often. Lucky thing, I got this new layout up!

never mind the scrawny body!

2005-05-16T17:08:00.000+08:00

i was watching Survivor Palau the other day. The part where Ian apologised to Katie for breaking his promise. Teary-eyed, albeit a game, I knew he meant every word he said. He didn't have to apologise, everyones playing a game. But a promise is a promise. i got an sms from a male friend. Goes like this:

Juan: Aww...he's so sweet. You should find a guy like that.

Me: Well, ian has always been my favourite from the beginning. :D

Juan: Yeah, right! What about your alpha male? ;)

Okay, okay...so I did think Bobby Jon was drop- dead-beach-model-looking gorgeous. But Ive always felt he was a bit, what's the word? Shall we say, dense? Very himbo. (FYI - himbo : male version of bimbo). Yes, he was an eye candy.

But from the beginning I've always had a soft spot for Ian. The blond hair, pretty boy looks, nevermind the scrawny body. Plus he's a dolphin trainer. Dolphins are my weakness. But that's besides the point. He's always been a hard worker, he's pretty strong during challenges and we never get to see the political side as his tribe always wins. These few weeks we have seen the tribe splitting up alliances, but Ian has always been overall truthful. Plays the game well and as honestly as he could. Can't wait for the finals tonight. I'm not sure who's gonna win. It could be anyones game at this point. It was dissapointing that Steph could not have been the final two though. Meantime, I'll keep my fingers crossed for Ian.

amazing survivor!

2005-05-10T17:03:00.000+08:00

Do we all really want to see Rob and Amber getting the million bucks AGAIN?.

Is this the network's idea?

I have a feeling it's all planned in a way that Rob and Amber get to the final 3 to raise the ratings. Cheating, lying and it's all luck for their game

This is not to outwit, outplay and outlast. After the boyfriends got eliminated, I didn't know who to support. Now that it's the final 3, I hope Uchenna and Joyce win.

Whoever you supported, don't forget to catch the final 2hr episode tomorrow night!

prosaicMagazine May Issue

2005-05-10T16:54:00.000+08:00

I went to ProsaicMagazine.com and was confused when I found the site barren except credits to contributors and editors. One of the editors called me up to inform that they would be having a Print version as well.

So, I was under the impression that they would be having 2 versions of the magazine. Recently I was informed that they would only have the entries and contributions on the print version of the mag. Bummer.

So, any interested parties, get your print version (now in black and white) by contacting Nilofer at prosaic.online@gmail.com.

Meanwhile, I'll put up my contributions here for you guys to read.

news and updates

2005-05-10T16:50:00.000+08:00

Having someone telling you that they enjoy reading your blog entries and asking you to blog more is one of the things a Blogger hope to be asked for. It means I have achieve connecting with my readers. And here I am thinking no one even reads my blog. Hehe. Thanks Shiqin. :D

Okay, let's update you guys a bit. I'm thinking of a new layout. Actually, it was supposed to be a May layout. But I got busy and couldn't do it on time. So, look out for a new look in a week's time or so.

On a lighter not, (or not!), I overheard on the radio that Taylor Hanson just welcomed his second child, Penelope. It's not enough that he left me for THAT woman, then he MARRIED her, have a son, and NOW a daughter. Hmmph!

Really, I got over my teeny bopper crush on him when I was in secondary school. Hahah! Although to think you're a father/mother to 2 kinds when you're just 22 is just...weird. (geddit, the hanson song 'weird'? Ok, lame-o.)

the road to FREEDOM : the sequel

2005-05-01T18:13:00.000+08:00

I sometimes wonder if I constantly crave that feeling. The feeling of knowing when you wake up the next morning, you leave all your problems, pressure and things you don't understand behind you. Waking to a fresh start with no consequences of what you did the day before.

Yes, I resigned. For the second time this year. And it's not even June yet!

I'm starting to think that I caught the job-hopping bug from some of my friends. But no. I'm not a quiter. Even though I felt the pressure working in my previous firm, a law firm, I actually endured for almost 2 years.

Maybe I'm a slow learner? But I could cope in my law firm. And we had deadlines too!
I have been ranting negatively about this job but see it's not that. I just couldn't deal with the workload. Too many paperwork and I couldn't figure out what is what. Imagine, 5 different work done by 5 different people is taught to me on my first week?

But it seems after I tendered, everything seems to make more sense and I am wondering if I made a mistake yesterday by resigning? But then I over heard that they were planning to actually give me more work.
EGAD!
Then I realize I made the right choice.

Did I mention NO RADIO RULE? Not even using earpiece or earphones!

Of course I break all the rules. I listen to the radio(hp), I go home on the dot (no point cos I can't claim OT), I came back from lunch late. Might as well enjoy my last few days eh?

What I miss about working here? Seeing the cool cars like these! But then, I've seen cooler cars while working at my old firm. Which is 10 minutes walk away.

Why I quit my old work place?

2005-05-01T18:00:00.000+08:00

I would not have left if they paid me slightly more, not care if I stayed back or not - as long as my work is done on time, and they kick this habit of theirs to fire anyone who got into the bad books of the "power people". Especially when they want to change premises and wanting to cut down on staff.

My team, consisting of my friend and I, were "warned" by the Director's darrrling that a lot of the Malay are targeted first at the "Operation to Downsize Staff So We Can All Squeeze 3 Floors OF Staff To 1". Being a fellow Malay, she decided to warn us as the Director has been hinting about it.

Which made me think. Since they're targeting Malays, doesn't that makes her VULNERABLE too? My bad. I forgot. She's the Director’s DARRRLING after all. It was NICE of her to warn us about it. In other words (pardon my mother tongue), "Aku bilang korang sebab kiter samer Melayu. Tapi korang yg nak kena sebab aku nie boss nyer kesayangan. Sebab tu dia bilang aku. Kat sini nyer team dah takder melayu selain kiter tiga. So, faham faham jer lah. Antara korang dua."

A pay rise confirm our suspicion. One of us will go and the other would have to do both our work. Which is absurd. We can't cope two of us and they intend to make it one only. Well, we thought we'll be helpful by helping them downsize the staff by resigning. And the plan was priceless. We both tendered a day difference. And they PANICKED. No one else know our jobs. But hey, you've been torturing us. Now it's our turn.

I got my revenge.

This job?

Lets just say it kind of made me regret I quit my previous job. I said, kind of regret. Kind of. But not really.

Kasi(CASI), NO?

2005-04-20T23:51:00.000+08:00

I love my Mum.

But sometimes she have this tendency to ask us what food we want her to cook for the next day. We'll all jump in and give delicious ideas; ayam masak merah, daging kicap with black pepper, sambal prawns...Then, she vetoed our yummylicious ideas one by one. In the end she said, ikan asam pedas. Which originally is what she wants to cook. My brothers and I keep thinking why she asked us when she has made her mind up.

Before you salivate, don't you think it sounds a bit familiar these few days?

Yes, I'm talking about the casino. We all know they have made up their minds about having the casinos. And despite some of the ministers are against the idea, they HAVE decided. So, why ask Singaporeans on what we think? Yes, yes, we CAN'T say no to 35,000 job opportunities. But tell me, those 35,000 are not from JUST the casinos, right? Why not just make the resorts and skip the casinos. At least 25,000 job opportunities will be opened.

Oh wait. The 35,000 include the counsellors they have to hire for the gambling addicts.
Ahh. Now, I understand.

Day 2 : Enjoy the entries while you still can

2005-04-19T23:41:00.000+08:00

Day 2 is much better.

To make myself feel better and more comfortable, I came prepared today. I bought my daily dose of Nescafe (gold one, Kopi susu flavour), a bottle of mineral water and was pissed the 7-eleven did not sell Polar Cakes. Damn. Must find out what time Polar opens. So I can get my morning sugar roll fix. I also brought along my jacket. Left-over from my Year 3 Poly interview test. Bought that office jacket back then and had no opportunity to wear it.

Yayness.

- I got a phone line!

- I managed to request for the same lunchtime as my friends who are working nearby.

- Found out there's OT pay!

- Listening to radio via my hp. I love my K700i!

- There's a probability that they are hiring a few more people as the tables beside me are empty with workstations and I heard my "supervisor" saying all these tables need a phone. (Oh god, please help me! I NEED friends!)

Yucks.

- I still have no waste paper basket!

- Loads of filing to do.

- Loads of letters to draft. (This requires research through the files as they did not TEACH me what to do. Basket.)

- Still no one to talk to.

- People here seems to be on a diet. I don't see them going lunch.

Day 1 : we're back after messages from our sponsors

2005-04-19T23:39:00.000+08:00

Did I fail to mention I'm the only Malay here? There are pakcik dispatch but they aren't around often. I don't even know if they work for this company or they are from other company sending documents over. Oh, there's one girl wearing a tudung. She's a convert and she doesn't know Malay that well. Okay, so I don't really like working with a LOT of Malays (cos banyak gossip lah.) Plus all the minahs… But NO Malays is scary!

I mean everyone has their lunch kakis. But at least if there's a Malay girl here, she might (I said MIGHT) wanna ask me along. Lucky me, my old firm is like 3-5 minutes away. So basically the makan places are VERY familiar to me. Plus I got friends working in nearby buildings.

But this makes it hard to BE friends with my new colleagues.

Day 1: i wanna go home!

2005-04-19T23:33:00.000+08:00

Could it be that I was out of the working world for so long, I forgot how tired it is?

Could it be because it was my first day at work, I find it stressful, as I need to learn new things, learn to adapt in the environment, make new friends?

After work I went home straight. Oh, okay. After a stop-over at Roti Boy Bake Shoppe (why do they spell shop as shoppe?). After dinner, shower and prayers, I was watching the TV and soon Las Vegas was watching me.

I'm hoping its first day jitters, first day everything, but I was too tired. I could barely open my eyes. And here I am having plans to actually put aside sometime after work each day dedicated to updating my blog and do some designing(personal and freelance assignment. They don't have net access there. Bummer! And in the future, I was also thinking of doing part time studies. How can I manage this? There's gonna be OT too.

So, where does this leave housework, friends, family, time for myself? Weekends?

Oh, I forgot two things.
REST.
And getting a boyfriend.

here we go again

2005-04-17T23:56:00.000+08:00

I just realised I fail to mention what has been going on for the past week.

In just a few minutes, come the end of my freedom.

Tomorrow, I will go back to the life I left last month. I will join millions of Singaporean as we trudge our lifeless body, put on a happy mask and slave away till the sun sets.

Okay, okay...it's not so bad. There's the dough to look forward to at the end of the month. Then I can seek retail therapy! Yippies!

Honestly speaking, I am actually looking forward to work. YES. I am bored and tired of staying home. I don't even have anyone to hang out with. All my friends are working. I was so sick of job hunting so, alhamdullillah, I am thankful that some kind soul took pity and offered me this job.

It's the first interview I went that I actually like the location, pay and job scope. I always had some negative thing to say about every interview I went. This is the first one that I have a good feeling about. Is this a good job? We'll find out tomorrow.

hope is the optimism of denial

2005-04-17T11:13:00.000+08:00

Back in the Poly days, me and "lala in the house" aka Fida(okay, Fida and I), we have the tendency to go to the lecture theatre, open our notebooks, and begin scribbling and writing. From the lecturer's point of view, of course, we're two diligent students taking notes of what he's babbling about. From the ppl who peeped at our notes, we're actually just doodling, drawing, and sometimes writing poetry and stuff!

Fida is the epitome of a distinction Malay Lit student. Half of what she write in Malay I just couldn't understand. My Malay is scrap. I mean I manage to scrape through O levels with an A, but those higher Malay vocab, is just beyond me. Not that my English is anything to be boastful about. But I'm always more comfortable at expressing my views in English rather than in Malay.

But we have this experimentation going on. If we were inspired to write about something, she'll write it in Malay and I in English and this is one of the works we have done. I believe Fida is digging around her cupboards for her notebook which definitely has caught dust since 2002 to find her version and so until that, here's my version.

Shaeeda, a bit of reminiscence for you? Heehee...

new species sighted

2005-04-13T18:54:00.000+08:00

This is a public service announcement. Last evening at about 1630hrs, a creature with a green right eye and a brown left eye was seen scampering around a jungle of masses which we call a MALL. This creature seems to be waiting. For something. Someone? A prey? Someone call the SWAT team! DO we have a SWAT team in Singapore? Call 999!

CHILL!! It's not some creature from Evolution or something. It's just me. Haha. I was on the way to meet my cousin and my left eye was really painful...especially every time I blink my eye. I have been having that discomfort ever since I put my contacts on 10 minutes before that and have been washing it. I thought it was fine. Boy, was I wrong. By the time I reached the mall's toilet, I saw that my left eye was so red and teary. I took off my lenses and wash it and out it on.

Still the same.

Upon inspection, I found out that my left contacts was torn right in the middle. I can't wear it. And clever me forgot to bring my glasses along. To make matters worse, my contacts were green. So, I had no choice.

To walk around the mall half blind until my cousin arrives.
With one green eye and one brown eye.
Okay, dark brown.

mere zayed, mere arjun...

2005-04-10T17:17:00.000+08:00

Had a blast yesterday with Mena. I love that girl! The last time we met up was a year ago. A WHOLE year ago. I remebered that cos she was accompanying me look for a birthday gift for a certain JERK. That's another story.

NEwayz, we were watching 50 First Dates last year and yeaterday we watched Spanglish. Which co-incidentally starred Adam Sandler too. haha...I forgot how much fun we always have together. She was the first friend I made when I entered Poly. You would think that after a year of not meeting up or phone calls, it would be awkward. But that's just the thing with us. We meet up and catch up as if we've always meet up weekly or something.

And everytime we meet up, we'd end up sitting down and talk for 4 hours haha, intead of shopping. We've always shared that same thinking. We see things in the same point of view and often we're thrown in the same circumstances. Even our parents think the same way... *roll eyes*

NEway, I got home tired but saw Arjun Rampal on TV 2 and of course I watched! But I don't know the outcome of that hindi movie. I fell asleep. hahah.. But I watched Chura Liyaa Hai Tumne today. OMIGOD. Zayed Khan is so cute!! hahah!! I was trying to find the VCD and thank you Central for showing it.

As if the weekend couldn't be better, I just got a freelance web design stint. My first ever "official" freelance design assignment. Details are still in the works, so let's not get my hopes too high!

Let's hope, I get a permanent job soon! Everyone, have a great weekend.

at least your eyes matches your scarf

2005-04-10T16:56:00.000+08:00

man, I was suppossed to blog this on Friday night but i was just too tired! Had a long day which started with a very ODD interview.

Went for an interview at Orchard(exact location won't be reveiled) on Friday morning. It was for a Accounts/Admin Assistant. The interviewer told me he's looking for 3 things.

Firstly, Accounting experience. Okay, so I don't have the exact accounting backgroud. Didn't even study it in Secondary School. But it's numbers, I like Math plus I've worked in Finance and Accounts side doing billings. I learn fast.

Secondly, Admin experience. Which I have for about 2 years. In a law firm. Good, no?

Thirdly, a fashion sense. Which he claimed that he doesn't see it. It was an INSULT. A slap in the face!! I was wearing a stripped black G2000 shirt, black pants and a greyish/black head scarf. Duh! It was an interview. I didn't know it was in a boutique! I told him that since it was an interview, of course I should look smart. Guess what he said? "Well, at least your eyes matches your scarf. Is that your real eye colour?" Duh! I was wearing grey contacts.

Oh well. Don't really know if I want that job. We'll see.

Met up with a friend of mine for lunch @ PS and made some money by selling my Sony Ericsson Bluetooth headset to her. I haven't used it. Except fot the charger.. Newayz, sold it for $75!

I went beserk @ Barang Barang looking for candles and candle holders. Only got out of the shop after $15 worth of purchase.

Watched Smallville. I waited soooo long for this! Lois Lane look blardy old. Lana got new powers. Lana and Clark should be together. Boo!

Watched Survivor and was on MSN at the same time. I was chatting with a friend of mine who's studying in Oz and told her to go to Survivor website to look out for Bobby Jon. My itchy hands just typed the url to check out Bobby's photos. Guess what? It was only 10.30 and Wham bam! I found myself face to face with the news that he got voted out. Damn. No point watching the show till 11PM. Nevertheless, since I won't be seeing Bobby's face on tv anymore, might as well watch it while he's still on!

Calling all YOU artsy-fartsy PPL!

2005-04-07T16:14:00.000+08:00

As such as the aboved mentioned title, I am CHUFFED(brit slang, fyi!)to be part of ProsaicMagazine! To be the pioneers of the very first new-born issue of Prosaic is such an honour indeed.

Prosaic Magazine is an online magazine set up by an old friend of mine, Feeza and her friend Nilofer. It focus on local budding WRITERS, POETS, PHOTOGRAPHERS and DESIGNERS to publicise your works and meet others of the same interests. An atypical site which does not allow just about anyone to upload their works online, Prosaic treats their contributors as professionals and thus maintain the uniqueness of the magazine.

Of course, being passionate about poetry writing for more than 6 years, I jumped at this chance to showcase my talent. Or lack, thereof. Heehee.. But am very glad to be included in the very first issue. Oh, I said that already, didn't I? Hahah.. NEwayz, check it out! If you happen to be interested, just email them your work!

angelzwithdirtyfaces.blogspot.com

2005-04-02T23:12:00.000+08:00

this is my youngest brother's blog.
http://angelzwithdirtyfaces.blogspot.com
yes, he's not so young anymore. going on 14.
practically a MAN! hahah..
he's almost the same height as i am now.
which is 1.61M.
think i should start wearing 3inch heels?

Move over REALITY, Bring the DRAMA ON!

2005-03-31T15:01:00.000+08:00

Move over REALITY, Bring the DRAMA ON!
to you by Apocalips Media inc.

After the much (overly, i might add!) publicised American Idol 4, and all other "Reality tv", we are greeted by truckloads of drama on Channel 5.

Thursday is the night you want to tell your significant other, "Honey, I have to work late tonite. Dinner tomorrow?" Tell your friends, "Sorry guys, I have a date tonite." Tell your parents, "Mum, I have lots of homework tonight." then lock your door and drool over the hotties on your screen. If you happen to share a room or have no TV, too bad. Go get a set!

For those of you who have been in the "REAL" world and so lost in the Drama world, let me introduce you to these show.

the OC

OC stands for Orange County. You know, where the rich and famous(and not so famous) lives. Kinda like berverly hills 90210 but centered around 4 college students. yes, it's about the parties, the dresses, the yatchs...most importantly, one of the lead actor was from the poorer side of town, got into trouble with the law and his lawyer from OC decided to take him in. And yes, MONEY is not EVERYTHING. But EVERYTHING needs money.

one tree hill

the first season was shown on Saturday. Kinda "discovered" it one day when i wasn't out with my friends. Got hooked. Storyline: Rich kid, star basketball player, popular guy at school . enters new kid fro the other side of town, suddenly GREAT at basketball too. Popular guy hates new guy's guts and skills. Found out that their related. New guy is the illegitimate son of rich guy's dad. So they're HALF-brothers. Hated each other but somehow life is unpedictable, the brothers became closer and support each other against the one person who brought them apart in the first place. Their father.

everwood

nice story, gets a tad too draggy at times. watch if you're awake. Storyline: a doctor and his son and daughter move to town. Another doctor in town feels threatened of another doc's presence. Might steal his business...New Doc's son became close friend with a girl. Found out she's the other doctor's daughter. They became close but girl already has a bf. BF is in a coma for the last 2 years and might never wake up. Girl udnecided to be in a new relationship. The mooment she decided to give the relationship a try, BF wakes up from coma.

CSI is baackkk!!!

2005-03-29T23:55:00.000+08:00

okay, i just watched the FINAL episode for this season of CSI (LasVegas one. I don't fancy the Miami...)and thought, "Damn! What stupid show are they showing next week. But guess what?? They're gonna show the new season of CSI LasVegas..

And I just found out that Smallville is back...This season we'll get to see Lois Lane. And we get to see Clark FLYYYYY!!! Finally!

because she's worth it!

2005-03-29T23:45:00.000+08:00

my mum is using my old nokia.. you know the scrap kind.. hahah my 3315..very old model. And she's been complaining that it turns off by itself and sometimes the sim card can't be read. And being the DUTIFUL daughter that I am, I brought her to the singtel shop just now. So she got herself this NK 6020 for only $98! can you believe that? I mean for a triband hp it's cheap! Of course 2 yrs lah. But it's got GPRS, infrared, camera, video rec...downer is that it doesn't have a radio lah. And I realised that my K700i is like 200 bucks cheaper than when i first bought it last year!! Tak FAIR!!!

BYE-BYE SHUTTERBUG!

2005-03-29T14:55:00.000+08:00

I am sad to annouce that we have said goodbye to 'Shutterbug'. It's been a sweet relationship but it just doesn't suit this new layout.

Yes, I've been too busy to blog for the past week cos I was doing a new layout! Check out the new stuff yourself. ;P

NOW, you can listen to different songs while reading my blog and you can even pause the music for awhile. Enjoy. (As if I've got so much readers!heheh)

wat's with the HAZE????

2005-03-24T15:23:00.000+08:00

i woke up this morning in a state of confusion.
when i take a deep breath and breath out, i can "smell" this burnt smokey scent in my lungs.

it's like being a passive smoker because your friends lit up and blew the freaking smoke in your face.

i look out my window and this is what i saw.

the SHUTTERBUG

2005-03-23T17:42:00.000+08:00

Hey! Check out my shutterbug section!!! Finally had this up.. Got this idea to put up a bunch of recent photos and to view it from a digital camera style of viewing.

Got it done. Not very fancy shmancy. But pretty darn proud of myself! :D *pats myself on the shoulder*

Although I wanted it to be done in a REAL digital camera way of viewing...to zoom and all. I know what you guys are thinking! Steal my idea? Oh well, couldn't care less...

YUMMY!!!

2005-03-22T17:57:00.000+08:00

Took this quiz. Pretty accurate. Except the sexy part..hahah!! Looks yummy tho...

The Cake Quiz

Sexy, always ready to give and receive. Very creative, adventurous, ambitious and passionate. You have a cold exterior but are warm on the inside. Not afraid to take chances. Will not settle for anything average in life.

Once I start, I can't stop. Took another quiz. :D

Spanish/Italian
What Language Are You?

yet another week

2005-03-20T21:42:00.000+08:00

here i am.
blogging in the dark.
my light bulb's just went off.
no spare.

and i've to get ready my things for my interview tomorrow.
yes. yet another one.
why haven't i found something yet?

Jangan nak perasaan lah! Siaper berbual pasal korang.

2005-03-18T18:57:00.000+08:00

The good thing about having a brother, you can get opinions and views of the male population without ever embarrassing yourself.

I used to think of us, women, as a highly being, the fairer sex, and that we're much more humble than our egoistic counterparts.

A woman can look at another woman and comment that the other is beautiful. Or her dress is lovely, has a nice figure, her make-up flawless. Or, her hair is lustrous. Yes, we can admit all these. Albeit, with envy.

Men, on the other hand, can never admit another man is better-looking than he is. Or dresses better or has a nicer style. Even if his heart admits it, he will never say it out loud in front of his male friends. Either that or they'll tell you, "I'm not gay; I don't LOOK at other guys."

I realize though a couple of weeks ago that although women are more verbal and honest, there comes the bitchiness.

A man see another man better dressed and all walked past them, they looked at each other briefly, avoiding eye contact, and walk away.

A woman sees another woman walk past, they size each other up, looking from head to toe, and they see if the other is friendly, if the other is giving off this "arrogant" vibe, they put on an arrogant act too.

WHY? A few weeks ago, Nad and I went to roam around Orchard after watching White Noise(don't watch. It sucked!) We were walking in Far East Plaza and we kept seeing this bunch of girls(sec school, like 14 or 15 yr old) like 3 times in different stores. One time as they walked past us, one of them said "Ah, ngumpat lah tu. Ngumpat ah!" (meaning "Ah, gossiping is it? Go on gossiping!")

Excuse me! Asal korang perasaan yang kiter berbual pasal korang. Topic tu didn't come up in our conversation seh. Merepek!

Nad and I didn't talk about them. Or gossip. Nad mentioned that they performed in the Anti-Drug Abuse show and I asked if they were any good. They weren't. Then we were talking about other things. The weirdest thing is we kept getting like these "looks" from all these minahs–minahs when we went Taka and Wisma. I honestly don't know what's wrong that night.

Look at us! It's not like we look arrogant. We were trying to think of the reasons we kept getting those looks all night. Did we look confident, beautiful and just oozes charisma that people are jealous of us? Nah! Jangan nak perasaan sha!

Ladies, don't turn your envy to jealousy.

tissues, paracetemol, stuffed nose and headaches

2005-03-13T09:39:00.000+08:00

mood: SICK

on a bright sunday morning, i'm sneezing, coughing and having the whole flu thing going.

GREAT.

Just what I needed. *yes, i'm being sarcastic here*

Still Not Getting Any...

2005-03-11T21:33:00.000+08:00

Simple Plan Still Not Getting Any... Singapore Tour
Date: March 30, 2005
Venue: Suntec Singapore International Convention and Exhibition Centre, Hall 601
Tickets: S$50 (excluding $2 Sistic fee and GST)
Tickets are available at all Sistic outlets. For more info, check out www.sistic.com.sg

MTV is the official music channel for Simple Plan Still Not Getting Any... Tour. Click here for details.

it's beginning to look a lot like xmas...

2005-03-11T16:22:00.000+08:00

I'm bored at home. While waiting for employers to REALISE I'm the perfect employee they are looking for, I'm going crazy! That's why I came up with a NEW layout and influenced by Shaeeda, I'm embedding MP3s into my blog. How'd you guys like it? Oh yeah, if anyone is wondering what is the song you're listening to, it's Creep by Radiohead. Heard this song a couple of months ago from Power 98 but didn't know the title...Took me 2-3 months to figure out..haha cos everytime this song is on I missed the part where they tell you who's the singer or the title. And this being an old song...hardly ever plays on radio. So, enjoy!

Here's a picture of all the gifts I've gotten on my last day.

Thanks to Wendy, Cindy, Joey and Lilian for the Famous Amous and that cookie "bear" tin. So cute right? My favourite flavour some more. Butterscotch Chip and Pecan. I was really touched by their gesture cos they're the least people I'd expect a gift from.

Esther gave me a really cute strawberry frame. Your last day of work today, girl! When you come back Singapore, look me up kay? Agness, tanx for the Merci chocs...Herbert, our wonderful despatch guy, gave me a box of Roche.

Some cute soft toy and teddy courtesy of the Malay girls there Sipah, Kak Ani, Nissa,Siti, Mai, Farah, Kak Inah. Two cute stress-ball thingy and a picture of Ariel from Peterpan - tanx to Xiao Hui and Farizan. My temp kid and new girl. :P Almost felt like a birthday bash.

going going GONE

2005-03-08T20:23:00.000+08:00

i'm just so tired of job hunting. I mean I sit at home sending out resum'es online and by snail mail. But I feel like as if I'm not out there HUNTING for a job like a man HUNTING for food if he's lost in the woods. It's like I didn't try hartd enough.

But the problem is, I don't know where to start looking.

UGH.

And I've only been searching from Monday. I mean FULL-TIME searching lah. Last week I just chilled out. I'm already sick of staying home. hahah...got pictures of the stuff and gifts i got from my EX-collegues. Will post them up soon.

happy women's day

2005-03-08T20:21:00.000+08:00

well, happy women's day to all the wonderful women out there. :D

i just wanna say that men simply don't appreciate us enough.

sometimes the ones who appreciate us are the ones we least expect to get appreciation from. And the ones we hope to treasure us and appreciate us simple doesn't care.

2 more days to go

2005-03-01T00:51:00.000+08:00

My computer was having problems so I couldn't really update on what was happening. And I'm busy sending out resumes and going for interviews so I really neglected apocalips.

My pc's good now. Running on Win XP Pro.

Yep. It's 2 more days before FREEDOM. I'm gonna miss the surroundings. The Food, the CARS!! This is one of my fave mini coopers. There's a cream and green one...didn't manage to take a shot.

hell hath no fury

2005-02-04T00:42:00.000+08:00

YES! I did it!I've been procrastinating and now, no more!
I've tendered my resignation letter on Monday. No more staying back figuring out why the bill amount doesn't tally.No more having to come back on Saturdays (without OT pay) because the bank wants the bills to be sent in and only told us about it on Thursday.

I could go on and on but let's just say now it's FREEDOM.

Well, my boss's darling (aka. the bootlicker bitch) wanted to see me in the meeting room. Yeah you guessed it. They wanted me to stay, at least for another month or so.
You see, my colleague who's my work buddy also tendered. And we're the only people who know our jobs. Now they're having a MAJOR prob cos even if they manage to get a replacement, they wouldn't be able to learn our work on time.

They are willing to let me consider my decision. with plus points and benefits and a pay rise maybe a higher position... Do they think I'm stupid? I've had enough. I basically told them to shove the crap up their asses. Well, not those words exactly. I told them I'm sticking to my decision. And I don't have time to reconsider it.

I know them all too well. They're extremely nice to you when they need you. After that, they'll just fire you. NEways, that's for not appreciating all the sacrifices me and my colleague made.

Padan muka.

the picture @ the pantry

2005-02-01T00:32:00.000+08:00

This is a note put up by my Boss at the pantry.

She's a step too late. Lambat setapak lah katakan. Cos the culprit is no longer around. Yep, I know who did it.

The brat who worked as a temp staff in my office.

The 'che-plok' who sit next to me. The budak anggur who FINALLY decided to continue his studies. I can almost hear his evil laugh? Sounds a bit like Chucky eh?
*come to papa..hehehe(inside joke)*
Hydar, semua kerje kau lah ni. :P

come to papa!

2005-01-28T00:58:00.000+08:00

Met up with Hydar after work.
Yeah, we kinda miss having the kid around in the office. Our main source of entertainment...
It's been 2 weeks since he left the company and somehow things never change.
Yeah well, I promised to give him a treat for his last day but hey, he unexpectedly left earlier, so too bad..had to wait till pay day. We thought of going to Satay Club, the one near Fullerton. Went there and found out it's closed. Have no idea whether under renovation or shop closed for good. Hydar, sway ah kau...hahaha!
Ate at Sakura and hung out at starbucks. Had no idea what we were talking about. Took pics and vids and what nots! I never laughed so hard in my life.

hooray for podah.com

2005-01-27T01:04:00.000+08:00

I'm very pleased to inform that I'm linked up from podah.com! :P

To everyone who's not familiar or wondering what podah.com is, it's a site owned by Ridjal who previously owned Ridjal.org and ridj.blogspot.com.

Ridj is my friend's brother and is an amazing writer. His entries are always an enjoyment to read full of clever quips and satirical humour. Podah.com sets to focus on entries purely for entertainment purposes and not personal ones.

So, check it out guys! Click here.

the voice within

2005-01-23T10:39:00.000+08:00

pardon me for being so melancholic. Suddenly, I'm thrown in an abyss of songs that somehow depict what I'm going through.

So, anyone who's like me, listen to these two songs and cry out your pain, alright?

First is a song, which I loved for a few weeks now. It's like a given sign to me. I really felt the soul of the song but never expected it to actually reflect my emotions. I can almost imagine myself saying these words to him. It's called Missing by Evanescence.

Secondly, it's a heart-wrenching Malay song. I almost never listen to Malay songs cos I wasn't into Malay rock. But I'm quite fond of Indon rock bands nowadays. Yet it was quite a miracle how I got to listen to it on RIA 89.7FM as I was hoping to hear lagu raya during Ramadhan. Maybe it was meant to be. Just listen to the piano piece on this one. And Duta's amazing vocals. It's called Berhenti Berharap (in English, 'Stop Hoping') by Sheila On 7.

Missing : evanescence

Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
Maybe someday you'll look up,
And, barely conscious,
you'll say to no one:
"Isn't something missing?"

You won't cry for my absence,
I know -You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?

Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?

Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
I know what you do to yourself,
I breathe deep and cry out,
"Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?"

And if I bleed, I'll bleed,
Knowing you don't care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
I'll wake without you there,
Isn't something missing?
Isn't something...

Berhenti Berharap : sheila On 7

aku tak percaya lagi
dengan apa yang kau beri
aku terdampar di sini
tersudut menunggu mati

aku tak percaya lagi
akan guna matahari
dengan mampu menerangi
sudut gelap hati ini

aku berhenti berharap
dan menunggu datang gelap
sampai nanti suatu saat
tak ada cinta kudapa
tkenapa ada derita

bila bahagia tercipta
kenapa ada sang hitam
bila putih menyenangkan...

Chorus:
aku pulang...tanpa dendam
kuterima.. kekalahanku
aku pulang...tanpa dendam
kusalutkan.. kemenanganmu

kau ajarkan aku bahagia
kau ajarkan aku derita
kau tunjukkan aku bahagia
kau tunjukkan aku derita
kau berikan aku bahagia
kau berikan aku derita

the one with the broken heart

2005-01-22T01:04:00.000+08:00

Ever since I started this blog, I kept asking myself, how is this blog going to be? Is it going to be my personal diary, writing down each and every one of my thoughts, despite how irrelevant it might be? Risking the fact that my own friends could be reading this? How personal can I get? Or should I just write the good stuff that happens? Or is this going to be a blog for pure entertainment reading pleasure?

After much thought, I realize that I'm not that great with words. I can't write satirical witty blog entries. What I can be is as honest as I can be. But there's a limit to how personal I will be. So here goes?

I had a bad day at work on Thursday and I was looking forward so much for Friday to come cos it's Hari Raya Haji. People always warn you to be careful of what you wish for.

Well, that Friday that I was so looking forward to turn out to be the worst day of my life. Or maybe it was destined to be. I know he'll never read this. But some of his friends might. But somehow if he ever saw this somewhere, I hope he knows that the last time we talked would be the last he will hear my voice. And my msg for him that fateful day was the last he'll ever read from me. We can't stay as friends. Goodbye.

merry xmas and a happy new year

2004-12-25T22:42:00.000+08:00

Initially, the plan was to meet up for dinner at Satay Club(either @ Lau Pa Sat or near Fullerton). Got an SMS from dear Ms Prue aka Fida to have a get-together at her house. See, we missed her post-hari-raya-house-warming party. Wita thought, kill two birds with one stone. We'll have the gathering at Fida's NEW house! :P

And so we did. Actually Jay and I planned to meet early to get Yan's bday pressie. When we meet up, Jay was thinking that we should get Fida a house-warming gift as well. Great idea. We were having lunch at Suntec when Yan called. She was at her company's Xmas lunch. Jay said we'll meet up to get Fida's present. Yan asked where Jay was cos she's at Citihall area. I nearly choked on my food cos we were both at Suntec looking for her present! I told Jay to say she's on her way while I kep quiet. A few minutes later, Yan called me and sked me where I am. I told her I was at Orchard and that we'll meet up 4 plus to get Fida's gift. NEways, we managed to get Fida a griller. You know, for all the get-togethers we are gonna have *hint* hahaha...

Don't get me started on the pizza guy. He's freaking 3 hours LATE! Canadian pizza. Lost in Sengkang??? What the??

Pictures are available here..

Quizzes and quizzes

2004-12-20T22:13:00.000+08:00

Went to Shae's webbie, saw that she took a lot of quizzes to kill time. Decided to do the same.
Well, here's some of the quizzes...

You are a Rocker Girl!
What Kind of Girl Are You?

If you don't have musical talent, you've got a talent for picking out great CD's.Music rules your life - and you've got the best MP3 collection of anyone you know.Many guys find you intimidating, but a select few think you're the catch of a lifetime.Start hanging out in more used record stores, and you'll find love with a fellow rocker!

I've always known I'm a rock chick! hahaha...

Your True Sign Is Taurus

What's Your True Zodiac Sign?

Patient
Stubborn
Possessive
Self-Indulgent
Greedy and Generous
Determined and Deliberate
Lover Of All Things Luxurous
Comfort Seeking and Comforting

Well, well..what do you know. I'm actually a Taurus at heart. Like him.

Yet another quiz.

Your Inner Eye Color Is Green

What's Your Inner Eye Color?

You're off-scale unique and creative - just like green eyes.

You're peaceful, relaxed, and easy to be around.

You've got an exotic flair that draws men in... with unique beauty.

That explains why my friends did not realise I was wearing green contacts. They thought I was wearing clear ones...it's my natural eye colour.hehehe..

you've been taufiqued!

2004-12-12T23:59:00.000+08:00

I suddenly realize I'm in need of new wardrobe. Although considering, my job pays nearly nothing and there's a bunch of parties coming up (Office Xmas party, 2 engagement parties, 2 wedding receptions, a house warming party(possibly) and 2 birthday presents to buy) all before 2005! Yep, I'm all booked out in the next 3 weekends.

Okay, so I'm officially BROKE. Damn.

On a lighter note Taufik fans, listen up. Check out http://taufikbatisah.com. Take note, no "WWW". Just taufikbatisah.com. The "official" fansite for Taufik Batisah. You want to listen or download his performances in Spore Idol? Well, it's all there! In MP3 format. Whoever made that site, I love you! Hahah. Heard they just gave him some dough as part of the contract with BMG. Thank goodness. I'm still pissed off that Sly got the same prize as does Taufik. Sorry, Sly fans. I think it's great that Sly 's been offered a contract. However, Taufik is our IDOL. There has to be a difference in prizes. But at least he got some ca-ching now.

soon to be wed

2004-12-05T22:59:00.000+08:00

OMIGOD! I honestly can't believe it! One of my best friends is engaged! I'm so happy for her. The engagement ceremony was pretty fun. Me and Nad was so tired cos we were busy helping out at Jule's place. Weirdly enough, I was never one of those people who love family gatherings but today I was pretty good. Sociable enough, I must say. And me and Nad found out that we had some hidden talent! She could be a make-up artist and me a photographer. Hmm...maybe we could open up a bridal service thing eh Nad?

Anyways, Jules and Hendra, CONGRATS! Cepat, cepat kahwin! Hahah...

Highlight of the day though, my find Rauda will be getting engaged on Jan 1st! Seems like everyone's getting engaged!

Downer of the day though, when people ask me when will it be my turn. People, listen up! The answer is a loong loong time in the future.

ATTENTION!!

2004-11-30T22:53:00.000+08:00

You have been warned!

Do not miss the Grand Finals of Singapore Idol tomorrow at 7.45PM on Channel 5!
Failure to do so means that you will miss the chance to get a hell of a performance form the idols, miss the chance to vote resulting in YOUR favourite idol not winning the competition.

Here are a few tips to ensure you'll be home on time.

1. At 5PM sharp(or 6.15PM in my case), be at the lift lobby of your office. Shutting down your PC, touching up on your make up should be done 15 minutes before.

2. Instead of dining out with your beloved, dine in. It doesn't matter where you dine or what you do. As long as you're both together and very much in love, that's all that matters. Plus, you can vote together. How romantic...awww.

3. If you had to work night shift, take a tip from my girl, Rissa. Take MC.

4. The moment you knew the date of the Grand Finals, you should have applied for LEAVE.

5. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE.

Don't forget to vote WHILE they are performing! Results will be at 10.
My 50 cents worth of vote? My $5.00 vote will go to Taufik Batisah!
Boy, keep grooving!

very belated wishes

2004-11-27T23:43:00.000+08:00

I'm always FAR behind when it comes to festivities. To all my Muslim friends Salam Aidilfitri Maaf Zahir Batin. Eid Mubarak Minal Aidil Wal Faizin. Harap maaf jika terkasar bahasa dan harap halal kan yang termakan, terminum and segala macam ter yang sewaktu dengan nye. And for those of you who didn't understand a word I wrote, well, it wasn't meant for you then. hehehe..

Personally, Aidilfitri isn't a merry affair since my late gradmother past away last year during Ramadhan. It's not the same when you gather at your eldest Aunt's house. Not everyone come at the same time, so didn't really get to see everyone else.

The good thing is everyone seems to think I'm still schooling and wants to give me duit raya.Which, of course, I politely declined. Kinda embarrassing. But that actually meant that I still looked young which really pleases me! heheh..

Took leave from work to visit some relatives at JB on Monday and seriously this year preparations were kindof rushed. I didn't have a chance to go visiting with my ex-poly friends, sec schl or even colleagues but I still manged to sqeeze in my best friends houses today.

Work is really piling up and I didn't have any time to go online at all. Sorry to everyone whom I owe an email, friendster messages or what not...been doing OT lately. Without pay. Sigh. Life of a law firm slave.

Something to look forward to next week...Singapore Idols Grand Finals. And my best friends engagement!! :P And people, please! Recognise REAL talent. Vote for MUHAMMAD TAUFIK BATISAH!

Internal Fracas

2004-10-13T23:27:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wish I never met you.
Then maybe I could move on with my life.
Some days I wish I could get over you.
But I couldn't live with just the memories of us.

Sometimes I wish you never existed.
Then my dreams will stay as dreams
And not turn to reality
To torture my conflicted feelings

Sometimes I think you care about me
But then you just leave me hanging
Wondering, contemplating your feelings
My own feelings wavering in uncertainty

But then I think I did the same to you
Thus your contradicting actions
Now we stood facing each other
An internal fracas of emotions

by i-sha

The Road to Freedom

2004-09-25T13:41:00.000+08:00

Recent reports have shown that an average, part-time anti-social, part-time socialist (ie. your truly..) have been invited to a lot of birthday partied this particular year.

Puzzled by the phenomenon, as she does not expect any invitation to such events, considering her distant relationship with the senders/organizers, albeit, they are from her social circle.

Spurred by her curiousity, she began her intensive research.

After hundreds of seconds spent on the research, she came to a conclusion; this year, most of her peers turn 21 years of age. But what is so special about turning 21?

At 21, you can:

1. Be Sued
I'm serious. Came out in the NEW PAPER. Besides, I work in a LEGAL FIRM, so I would know. :P

2. Vote
We are now responsible in chosing the right leaders and molding the future of our beloved country, Singapore.

3. Economic Restructuring Shares(ERS)
Finally! FINALLY! We can get that $400 bucks. It's the last year they are giving out the shares, nasib tak rugi! heehee...

4. Restricted Artistic films
I think this is the first though that comes to everyone's mind when I mentioned 21 years of age. Don't you dare denu! But then again, there's websites and pirated VCDs around. Anyone of any age could get access o it. Not that I know much about, of course...

As the writer had a restricted time constraint for her research, the following points are all she managed to look into. If you have more information or points regarding this phenomenon or you just want to support her findings, feel free to contact her at blistered_reality@yahoo.com.sg. Or just leave your two cents worth on the tagboard. Thanks.

words...

2004-09-12T18:42:00.000+08:00

Hanging On A Lifeline
by I-sha

It lays motionless so still
As I tried, prayed and hoped
That it would somehow budge
That the sound would kill
My resonated silence
Which is gradually and steadily
Eliminating my very soul
Eating to the core
I'm at the edge of extinction
"RRING RRING"
And with that simple melody
I was resuscitated
From my almost dying state
Smile playing upon my lips
As I hear the voice on the other line
In a change of fate.

slave for fashion

2004-09-06T23:46:00.001+08:00

I actually bought these sandals for my trip to JB. They look cool don't they? But I tell you, they are torturous to wear! I get blisters and my feet are all red...sigh. but they do look good on my feet. See how we suffer in the name of fashion?!

The weirdest thing is I DIDN'T wear them for my trip. Figured they'd be too uncomfortable...but I went and buy another pair of sandals at JB! Hahaha.. a girl can never have TOO many shoes!

We went to Mini Kelantan, Air Hitam and god knows where else...Overall, I love the trip! Partly bcos my fave cousin (ie. the only cousin I could talk to like a friend!) was there! Hey cuz, remember METAL DUDE! hehehe...the only downer was that it was too short a trip...BUT i took leave from work today, so was able to sleep in.

And guess what? I just bought myself a Sony Ericsson K700i! :P

happily ever after

2004-09-01T23:19:00.000+08:00

Went to watch Cinderella Story with Nad on Tuesday!
She won the preview ticket...
I love that movie...and I'm in love with Chad Michael Murray!

It's the normal high-school-she's-all-that-fairy-tale kinda movie. For romantics out there, you can look forward to the garden scene where they have their first dance...it's beautiful! Especially with 'I'll Be' by Edwin McCain in the background...sigh..if only...oh well.

The EVIL stepmum an sisters are hilarious...and despite it's bubble-gum pop storyline, it touches the heart talking about being true to yourself and not afraid of being who you are.

Girls, leave your fellas at home. This is something you should hit the theathers with your girlfriends!

the girl with the broken smile

2004-08-29T21:41:00.000+08:00

I know I haven't write for a while...but here's something I wrote a few weeks ago. Never had the time to put it online till now.
Plus, I've finally complete the finishing touches to my blog! So CONGRATULATIONS and celebrations..Woohoo.. I'm ready to rock and roll, baby!

Broken Smile
- written on 04 Aug 2004

her eyes so beautiful
was full of pain
her days so blissful
yet filled with rain
her thoughts unwavered
yet seems to refrain
what her heart's most desired
just can't be attained

mascara streaked cheeks
tear stained face
her heart's an abyss
overflowed with misery
a pain so unlimited
that knows no boundaries
hoping to seek refuge
from the insanity

as she wiped her tears
she wondered why
she tries her best to heal within
only to break once again
as she looks back at you
while you watch her
with a broken smile, she turn
and walked alone in the rain

leave right now

2004-07-28T23:26:00.000+08:00

nice song. great lyrics.

Leave Right Now - Will Young

I'm here just like I said
Though its breaking every rule I've ever made
My racing heart is just the same
Why make it strong to break it once again?

And I'd love to say I do
Give everything to you
But I can never now be true
So I say...

I think I'd better leave right now
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now
Feeling weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me how
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now

I'm here so please explain
Why you're opening up a healing wound again
I'm a little more careful
Perhaps it shows
But if I lose the highs, at least I'm spared the lows

Now I tremble in your arms
What could be the harm
To feel my spirit calm

I wouldn't know how to say
How good it feels seeing you today
I see you've got your smile back
Like you say you're right on track
But you may never know why
Once bitten twice is shy
If I'm proud perhaps I should explain
I couldn't bear to lose you again